There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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