No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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