That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
