real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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