Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
