i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
