you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
