Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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