...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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