I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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