i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
