and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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