Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
