On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
