do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
