i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
