This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
