I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
