So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Life is so much better after having sex.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
