If i come over, it means nothing
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize