sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
