So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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