Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Come on in and take your pants off
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