So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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