apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This house was built for laser tag.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm both gender and math confused
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
