There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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