idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
