someone threw a dead crab at me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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