Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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