just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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