My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
