If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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