There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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