i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
