You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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