I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
