I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize