how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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