If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
