When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize