OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
