she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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