so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize