They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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