kristin has been a bad kristin
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
