She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
