make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
