We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My vagina is very pro this idea
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
