He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
