they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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