I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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