All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
