i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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