If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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