So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
handjob tips. give me some.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
