i used baking grease as lip gloss
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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