just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
