Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize