i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize