3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
