No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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