Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
