I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
